Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
