i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
