nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
