please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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