i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize