I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize