No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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