yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
