and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
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I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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