I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
