I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
