i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
