Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
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