Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
