I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
