Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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