i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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