How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
