They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
