we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
