We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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