Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
