I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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