I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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