All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
