Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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