Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
