fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
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but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
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She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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