The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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