If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
