I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
