yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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