so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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