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That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
