i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
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If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
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Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
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