Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
