yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
