I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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