You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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