My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
