I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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