I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
