I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
