either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
