How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
