do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
