Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
