sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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