I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
