I wanna passion pit in your ass
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
