that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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