Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
