Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
