I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
