but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
