I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
