omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
