You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I have post one night stand depression
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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