I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm passing your future prison.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
