Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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