Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
