Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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