Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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