I hate all girls vehemently.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
