I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
