turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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